Self Doubt

My marathon is in six weeks, which means I have four weeks of training left. I have run 16 miles to date. Which is fantastic. It's further than I've ever run before. But is it enough? I ran it in less than 4 hours which was approximately 14:45 min/mile. That's really good for me, but to finish the race in the required 6.5 hours I need to run the entire 26.2 miles with an average of 14:53. That's scary for me. I mean that means I have about 8 seconds per mile to give up.

I know I'm a financial analyst and I'm just analyzing the numbers WAY too much, but I'm scared that I won't finish. I've told so many people that I'm doing this race. I already didn't finish my first triathlon when I did it, and granted I've now finished 4 triathlons. I just hate to fail again. To this day, I'm bound and determined to go prove to myself I can finish that triathlon. I don't want to have another thing that I have to prove I can finish.

It's like this little tiny seed of self doubt that I had just a couple of weeks ago has totally invaded my brain. It makes me want to just go out an run the total 26.2 miles just to prove to myself I can complete the distance, but I know that will just mess with my training. There is a reason I am working from a training schedule. I just feel like I should be running more or doing something different. I don't know how to get back the confidence that I had when I started this crazy quest to finish a marathon. I originally gave myself plenty of time and worked from a plan which took me from 6 miles to 26.2 miles. But my legs just gave out last week, I couldn't complete the 16 miles on my plan so then it was last weekend for 16 miles which means I'm a bit behind in my plan.

I have tons of self doubt, doubt about whether I can even run 26.2 miles. Especially if I have troubles with 16 miles. I know I'm in the minority that I've even run 16 miles at one time. But I have bigger dreams than the majority. I have to finish the 26.2 miles and I want the medal so I have to do it in 6.5 hours, but right now that is really scary.